Some things never change...

Remember yesterday, when I closed my post, I said moving was a good thing?

I changed my mind last night.

Andy came home from practice mad.

He wouldn't talk to me.

I finally got some information--some girl said something during to school that made him mad.

I have no idea what, or who...because he's a stoic man-child who won't talk to his mother about what's bothering him.

Then Miss Kat got a phone call from her BFF Jenna in Colby who told Miss Kat that there was a Middle School dance Friday night.

Miss Kat wanted me to drive her back to Colby so she could go to this dance.

And became furious when I said no.

And said I had ruined her life by making her move and leaving her "only" friends.

And I'd probably never go to any of her track meets, because I just don't love her enough.

Kev was at an orientation meeting for work, I was home with two angry children.

I had a bowl of rocky road ice cream for supper and hid in my bedroom for a couple of hours.

Don't know about the kids, but I felt much better...

Sports

We've never been the kind of parents who think their little darlings need to be involved in every single activity. And, we aren't the kind of parents who put their lives (and relationship) on hold for their children. In fact, I tend to think that just because I'm a parent doesn't mean that I don't have my own activities to do and that my own activities are just as important as any my kids are involved in.

So, when our kids were little, they had 2 activities. Andy tried soccer and baseball and later basketball. That's it. In fact, all were at different times of the year, so we usually had only ONE activity at a time. And, I really don't think it "ruined" Andy at all (so many people were just flabber-gasted that we only allowed are kids to do ONE activity, after all, how could he ever become a "star" if we only did one thing!) Anyway, Andy's a well grounded individual with a pretty good head on his shoulders. He enjoys organized sports and activities, but also knows how to entertain himself and doesn't have to be on the go 24/7. (And since I'm saying good things about him, he'll probably do something really dumb and stupid.)

But he's not super competitive person either. He enjoys sports for the companionship and camaraderie and isn't driven by the need to always win or the need to be the absolute best, the superstar. In my mind, that's a good thing, because for most of society, sports involvement ends with High School. There are many many people who make sports so important that it excludes many other activities that life gives us. These people can't enjoy the simple things and they don't know what to do or how to act when their sporting life is over.

So, we believe in balance. And, that's what we've taught our children, balance.

Sports in Colby was...a very negative experience for Andy as a player and for Kev and I as parents. There, sports are only for the best. Colby must be the best. There is no room for second best and very little room for enjoyment of the activity in itself.

For example. Colby has never had a good football team. For years, they've had losing season after losing season. And, they've taken that out on the coaches. In the last 20 years, they've had 12 coaches. That's less than 2 years per coach. But, year after year, the community expects a winning team, refusing to acknowledge that it takes time and lots of nurturing to have a winning team.

Andy went out for Basketball at Colby. There were 30 or more boys out for Basketball. Three coaches, 30 boys, one gym. What it meant was several boys never got to actually practice plays or shooting. They ran stairs day after day after day. It was frustrating for Andy, who wanted to play and have fun, but he wasn't a star, so he didn't get to play or even have fun.

That has changed with a change to a new school. Bucklin has 14-16 boys out for the team. They all work and play together. They've welcomed Andy to the team. They are working with him, teaching him plays, giving him the opportunity to play and to BE a part of the team. He's attended 3 practices and has had 4 games in the 2 weeks we've been there. He's played in 3 games. Last night, he made 6 points during his game. He was so excited and thrilled to be a part of the game.

I was impressed in the game I got to watch him play in . The coach coached him. Knowing he didn't know the plays and wasn't sure where to be, the coach talked him through some plays, encouraged him, and gently corrected him. The coach did that with all the boys, teaching them, not ridiculing them when they made mistakes, which is what we've seen before.

Bucklin has an excellent team. They are winning games and boy, do they play a physical game. Much more physical than what we are used to watching. And yet, they are having fun. Everyone on the court was having fun, playing a game.

Watching made me glad we moved. Kev and I enjoyed watching the games, we connected in a way we never did in Colby. It made me happy to see my son be happy about being a part of a team and feeling like he was a part of a team. That's what he was missing before. Yep, for him, right now, it's a good change.

A new year, a new home...

The last two weeks of December flew by and left me...exhausted.

I got home fine on the 14th. It snowed all the way home, but Colby had less snow than Dodge did. I'm glad I left when I did...if I had waited another hour, I wouldn't have made it home until probably Sunday.

I spent that next week packing up the rest of the house, closing accounts, making sure the school had the necessary paperwork to forward the kid's transcripts and data to Bucklin, etc. It was a busy week. Then, Kevin and I drove back down to Dodge on the 20th to close on the new house. We brought a load with us and left it at the house, then signed our lives away, changed the electricity company's bill to us, opened a new bank account and then finally, headed back to Colby. On the way, we had a message from UHaul...our truck was in Scott City, so we took the long way home and stopped there to get the truck. Friday found us loading that 26 foot truck. Kev and Bob loaded while I finished packing up the last items. We filled the truck up Saturday and crammed stuff into the Ranger pickup and the car and the diesel. Luckily for us, my additional husband, Lynn, drove the diesel and trailer down. I drove the car, Andy drove the Ranger, and Kev drove the truck. It had snowed again, but we all made it safely to Bucklin around 8 p.m.

We unloaded the necessities, a few mattresses to sleep on and I managed to find some eggs and made us a late "supper." We all unloaded the rest of the vehicles on Sunday and then the men-folk headed back to Colby for trip number 2. Miss Kat and I stayed behind to unpack and try to get settled. We also made an appearance at the Berends family Christmas gathering. On Monday, my men returned without Lynn, but with lots more "stuff." Once they arrived, Mom, Kat and I took off for Dodge. I needed to check on my refrigerator to see what time it would be delivered; and I needed to get a few Christmas presents.

Our first stop was Sears to check on the fridge...they assured me it would be delivered later that afternoon. Second stop was the mall to do a little shopping, then Wally-world, then the grocery store, then Blockbuster. All went well, except...upon calling home, my fridge still hadn't been delivered, so at 4:30, we stopped back by Sears. The delivery guy was getting ready to load it and head out for delivery. We ran to our last stop, Blockbuster (we were without TV, and I wanted to get movies for us to watch over the next week.) While at Blockbuster, Sears called...the delivery guy...he apologized and then said that he couldn't deliver the fridge as he had a party to attend that night and wouldn't be able to get there on time IF he delivered my fridge.

I was hot. Steamed. I had checked at the store twice and had called earlier in the week, verifying it's delivery...I was not going to let this twerp off the hook. He put me on hold. So, I simply drove back to Sears, where he had to deal with me personally. I did not let the twerp off the hook, even after listening to him moan and whine about how long of a day it had been and how he had this other commitment...blah blah blah.

He didn't deliver my fridge...instead, his boss bailed him out and delivered it to us. It might have been 6 p.m. before he was finished, but hey, they had promised me, and I made them keep their promise. I didn't get nasty or abusive, but I was mad and I was firm and by golly, they came through and delivered it.

Christmas day was nice, Mom and Dad came over, the neighbors from Colby came down and we had pizza.

The day after Christmas, Kev and I ran to Dodge to get furniture for the living room and some night stands for our room and he had some orientation to do for his new job. The 27th, we spent the day unpacking and trying to find things we needed (I still can't find 2 pair of capri jeans...) The 28th, we went to Big E to get my stuff and a different bed for Andy. On Saturday, the 29th, Kev and I drove back to Colby to "finish" packing. We loaded the flat bed trailer and the pickup...and still couldn't get it all back. So we drove home that night and back to Colby for our final load on Sunday, the 30th. Five trips total. Fifteen or so tanks of gas and diesel for multiple vehicles. Uncounted smashed fingers and toes, tired muscles and hands. Moving is exhausting.

But, here it is, January 2. The house is relatively put together...(I still can't find those jeans). The kids start School in their new school tomorrow. We have TV again. I've ordered the much promised computer for the kids (Internet access will be ordered soon...) We have a mailing address finally...that's another story. I know our new phone number. I'm getting better about telling Kev how to get around in Dodge (and not assuming that he knows after one trip...) We're together. Finally, after 2 months, we are together.

merry christmas and all that...

This will most likely be my last post until after Jan 1. Today is the last day of school at DC3 and hopefully, I'm headed north, to Colby. Snow is in the forecast, in fact, DC got a trace of snow last night. In Big E, all we had was heavy heavy dense thick pea-soup fog. I drove in that fog until I came up out of the Big Basin. Then, it was hazy and slight fog, but not the heavy stuff where you are afraid to drive very fast cause you can't see a foot in front of your headlights. (Remember, I told you the Basin was a weather line...) Come to think of it, I'll bet what I thought was frost on the grass, north of the basin, was probably snow.

I told Kev, on the phone last night, that I was coming home come hell or high water...or high snowdrifts; whichever is more appropriate. I need my family. It's become a physical need, I ache to see them, to hug them, to just visit with them. While I've spoken to Kev about 3 times each day, and Kat at least once, I haven't been able to talk to Andy. He's been at practice or school every time I've called home, so I need to talk to him and see him.

What's made this whole separation work as well as it has is the simple fact that I've had my parents so close. When I've gotten lonely for a loving face, I've had them to go to. They have been my lifeline these past six weeks. They really have.

Last night, Dad and I made supper. He was hungry for scrambled eggs and bacon, so I took over my eggs and bacon and cheese to use, since I'm leaving today. We cooked together and ate and visited. Then, after supper, Mom and I made bath bombs. They are a Christmas gift for her girlfriends, the gals in her local "red hat" group. I had the fixins, cause I made these a couple times each year for myself and for my friends. I didn't have my recipe last night, so we winged it. And, we got it right! We made rain scented bombs and cranberry bombs and lemon bombs. We colored them green, red and yellow. They looked and smelled wonderful. The best part was the fun Mom and I had mixing them, trying to find pans to set them on to dry, keeping our hands away from our faces...

You see, bath bombs are made of citric acid and baking soda. Citric acid is what candy makers use to make those sour candies like sour straws and warheads. Citric acid is that powder that is on the outside of all these candies that makes you pucker. So, we'd have citric acid AND baking soda on our hands, wipe our faces, or touch our mouths and, whoo whee, was that ever tangy and sour! And we'd laugh, and talk and laugh and talk. It was wonderful.

But, today, today I am going home. Home to my children and to my better half and I'll feel and be complete again. Weather permitting, we'll get a truck next Friday and will pull into Bucklin that afternoon, our new home. Hopefully, this move will be a good move for us, changes for all of us and i hope and pray that these changes make us all stronger and better people, together as a family, and individually.

See you all in January!

the joy of hotel beds

I've spent the last two nights in hotels. Monday night, it was sleeting and icing. We winded up with an inch of ice on everything. While the roads in town weren't bad, I think I made the right decision. I spent last night in a hotel because...well, while the storm stopped, the streets and roads were very icy and slick. The temperature last night got down to 16 degrees and that meant that highways which were wet during the daytime, would freeze overnight.

On Monday night, I stayed at a new hotel in town, not far from the college. I picked it because of it's location to the school--less driving in hazardous conditions for me. And, since the college was uphill, I wanted as little driving as possible. This hotel was so comfortable and nice, wonderful soft bed, nice pillows--4 to a bed. It had a fleece blanket and very soft sheets. The tub was long enough for me to stretch out and the plug actually held the water in the tub, so I filled it up, and relaxed in a nice hot bath. I had an alarm clock that I set and I slept pretty well, waking up at 6 a.m. just like normal.

Last night, I opted for a cheaper hotel. I went cheaper primarily because Kev went ballistic when I told him my room the night before was $100. He went on and on about how, whenever he stays in a hotel, it never costs any more than $75.00. I pointed out that he doesn't usually stay in a touristy town, but stayed in small towns with only one or 2 hotels.

He didn't buy it.

So, being the kind and considerate wife I am, I went cheaper. I went to an older hotel and got a room. This hotel is a "convention" center. But...it's seen happier days. My room, while ok, was in the back 40. The desk clerk told me to drive around to the back and to enter door #4. So, I drove around back, but door #4 wasn't marked and I noted that the parking lot was higher than the hotel and all steps leading to the building were ice covered. Not a good sign.

I drove back around front and decided to go through the lobby. My room number was 840. But I wasn't on the 8th floor, there are only 2 floors. I was on the main floor. I found the odd numbers of the 800's, but no even numbers. So, I went up a short flight of stairs and down a hallway, where I found another hallway. I trudged down this second hallway and found the even numbered rooms. Yep, the back 40. My heater had one setting, high. The tub wouldn't hold water. The pillows were thin, worn, and flat. I used three to sleep on, that's how thin they were. The bed...well, the bed wasn't a new mattress and sagged. I woke up at 3:30 and 4:30 and 5:00 and gave up at 5:44.

Today, I'm tired and I hurt. I have a kink in my neck and back. I'm going home tonight though--come hell or ice, I'm going to sleep in a bed that's comfortable. No more hotels for me.