Last day

Today is the day. My last day at CCC. Most of my office is packed and it looks very lonely in here. It's so empty that I think if I yelled, I'd get echos bouncing off the walls. Hopefully, I'll leave the way I want to, and quietly walk out with no fanfare. Not sure I could take fanfare. This is much more emotional than I thought it would be. But, CCC has been a part of my life for 20 years as a professional and 2 as a student. It's been my home for many, many years. Yes, I've grown to hate many things about it, but it's still a part of who I am.

Enough of this dribble.

Ok, today, I'm turning in my keys, I'm finishing up my office packing. I'm wiping off my computer, (and that will take a huge portion of the day. My lord, why did I install some of this...stuff...)

Jody and I are NOT crying. Nope, nope, nope.

So, importantly for you all, I don't know when I'll have time to blog again. I hope to "borrow" son Andy's laptop and then "borrow" my Mother's neighbor's wireless connection and post some stuff to sell on e-bay. Maybe I'll get to blog next week while I'm doing that...lets all hope that the emotional dribble stops today and you, my poor 6 readers, can read something fun and funny and irreverent. I'm much better at the irreverent and stupid than I am the emotional and sentimental.

Weepy

I've known that I'm leaving for a month now and it's been cool, refreshing, comfortable. I've been able to brush off lots of politics and troublesome issues just by thinking "It's not my problem, I'm out of here." And yet, as I've worked on various committees and various projects, I have kept saying "We," and "our," and "I," and "my."

Until yesterday. I'm not sure what happened, but yesterday, it hit me hard. I'm really leaving, I've crossed the point-of-no-return, what the heck am I doing? So, being me, I got weepy. And, I was weepy and crying all damn day.

I hate being weepy. I hate being an "emotional woman." Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I couldn't talk to Monica, cause I was weepy. Couldn't talk to Jody, cause I was weepy. Pat said it was good for me to be weepy, cause I'm letting out all my stress and anxiety. (She was probably just grateful that she didn't have give me another massage and try to loosen up my tight, tight neck and shoulder muscles...)

But it still doesn't mean that I have to like it. Resolution for today and tomorrow, No more crying.

A place to call home

Yesterday, I went with Kev to a job interview in Dodge. While he was interviewing, I was finding a realtor and trying to find some places to look at--a place which we want to call home.

I've been looking at realty websites, at houses online in the area. There's not much that I want to consider, and I'm really afraid that we won't be able to find anything of the caliber of the place we have now...

We want a place in the country, preferably south or west of Dodge. I want 4 or more bedrooms, 3 at a minimum. We want a nice sized kitchen with ample storage. We need 2 or more bathrooms and a laundry/mudroom area. We'd like some outbuildings, some trees, a view, good water, a place easy to get to in all kinds of weather. We want a basement.

What we looked at yesterday was rather disappointing. And, when we got home, I was so grateful for the beautiful home we have.

House A is 10 miles west of Dodge. It used to belong to a family that owned several grain elevators. In fact, it's right across the street from a large grain elevator. It's an old house that has been added on to over and over and over. You can track the additions by 1. carpet, and 2. style and 3. holes in walls, often called doorways. The only original rooms are two small bedrooms, probably 10 x 10 and the dining room, which was the most beautiful room in the house. It still had it's arts and crafts styling. If I could take that room and gut the rest, it could work, but it would have to be gutted and I'm not sure it could be gutted, because when they would add on, they'd cut a hole in the wall--the structural wall and then add another room(s) on. No fooling, it took us 10 minutes to find the front door from the inside (we came in the back door.) And the outbuildings were cobbled together just as badly as the house was.

Then the train went by, and so did we. We could live with trucks and harvest season at an elevator, we could slowly remodel, but we can't live right on the train tracks.

House B was also an old farmhouse that had been remodeled...by idiots. It had 4 acres, but was surrounded by wheat fields. Few trees, no yard to speak of, odd roof line and bathrooms. It had potential, but was rather icky and Kev found lots of evidence of water leaks. Nope, not going to deal with that. Good bye house B.

I also looked at a couple of lots that we maybe could build on. Only problem was they were out east of town by the meat packing plants. No thanks.

So we didn't find anything we would even consider buying. Yes, we only looked at two houses. Lord, I hope there is something better.

I want to find a nice house, one that says "Shell, this is your home. This is the place for you. This is where you need to live." I found one house that said that to me...can I find another one? O lord, am I making a mistake, moving to another part of the State?

Packing

I packed some yesterday. I leave my family in one week, and I just started packing yesterday. I packed only necessary items yesterday.

Stuff like China. And glass ware. Oh, and one box of books. (which I have to repack, because no one can lift the dang thing.)

Then I decided to go into my "craft room/library" formerly known as Kat's old bedroom.

I bagged up all my fabric, one nice big trash bag full. I tossed lots of marginal craft items, you know, those scraps and miscellaneous...stuff, that you might use someday, so you keep it. I packed up all my embroidery stuff and my pattern books.

Now, is any of this stuff useful? Is any of this stuff important and will it be anything I will personally use in the next two months while I'm homeless? No.

Have I packed anything that I will need--things like, clothes, food, personal hygiene stuff, sheets, blankets, etc? Nope, not one item.

But, I've made a mental list of what all I think I need to take.

1. TV with DVD player and VHS player for those nights I'm alone in the house.
2. Stereo with CD's to listen to when I don't have any DVD's or VHS tapes.
3. My embroidery stuff, so I can cross stitch or embroidery tea towels at night while relaxing in front of the TV or Stereo. (unless I'm at Mom and Dad's)
4. Work clothes.
5. Shoes.
6. Necessary clothing items.
7. One dresser.
8. Maybe one linen cabinet (cause it's taking up space and won't show well in realty brochure...)
9. Kev's collectible cars and my collectible Garfield stuff so I can list it on EBay. (we bought a digital camera yesterday, just to do this...)
10. Food--yet to be determined.
11. books. I always pack books. Always.
12. At least two boxes to go to my new office.

I'm sure there's more that I'll need, it's just that I'm really procrastinating about packing. I need to get on the ball, but motivation is seriously lacking. Everything is so up-in-the-air, and I don't like things being up-in-the-air. This week is it, my last week. I've got to do something besides procrastinating....

Pants

I've warned those that I love that this Blog might have lots of venting in it until we are all settled.

So today, I'm venting. I'm venting about...

ladies slacks, or pants. Whichever is proper these days. I don't really care, but I'm gonna vent about them and I'm gonna call them pants.

I hate buying pants. I hate buying them. Why?

Because, I have long legs. And, a long torso. Makes shopping delightful.

So, my black pants wore out. They flat wore out, so I needed new ones. I found the same brand as my black pants, but they changed the styling, so the size of my old black pants is not the same size as my new black pants. The new ones are lower waisted, which is better for me, because the waist band will not be rolling down to my waist. But, sadly, they are a different size. And more sadly, the blankety-blank-blank store didn't have talls, or long pants.

So, because I needed black pants without holes in them, I bought some in this different size, in medium length.

Big mistake. They are too short. They barely come to the top of my shoes. So when I walk, they flap around my ankles. Too short. I hate them. HATE THEM!

Uggh.

I'm going shopping again, looking for black pants with long legs and then I'll have a pair to donate to someone with short legs, cause I'm never wearing these goofy things ever again.

Note to self: NEVER, NEVER BUY AVERAGE LENGTH PANTS AGAIN. Next time, go naked.