Grandma

Six months ago, I lost my Grandpa. Today, Grandma joined him.

Grandpa's loss was so unexpected and was totally a shock. We've been expecting and anticipating Grandma's death for a year or more, so all of us are experiencing some relief with our grief.

Where Grandpa was easy to love and was always ready with a hug, Grandma was not. She kept everyone--everyone except him--at arm's length. And that made it hard for all of us who loved her to show her we loved her and it made all of us try so hard to show her that we did love her, because no matter what we did, it never felt like it was enough. I never felt like she accepted our love. Maybe she didn't know how to allow herself to be loved--unconditionally.

Grandma was never healthy. Never. She had standing appointments at the Dr's office. Every Friday, we sat at the Dr's office. I've never been convinced that she was really ill... But I know at times, she truly was ill. She was very ill when she delivered Aunt Dorothy. I know she was ill at various times when Mom and Sandy were growing up. And yet. it was also a means of getting attention. And, as an adult, I wondered if being sick was the only way that the girl she once was could get attention from a very busy single mother.

My Grandma gave me many things. She taught me to embroider. She helped me with my 4-H sewing projects. We took art classes together. We also did ceramics together. She babysat me when Mom worked and I was too young to stay at home alone. I got my love of Chickens from her. I got my enjoyment of "farm wife" stuff from her. I have many fond memories of days and times with my Grandma. They weren't anything special, just everyday life. And, I will treasure my memories.

The woman she was died at least a year ago, and that small part that didn't die then, died with Grandpa. In my mind, Grandpa had finally run out of patience, waiting for her to come on her own and came to get her today. I imagine he told her that it was time to go and to just come on. And she did--as always, she went with him. She wouldn't go for anyone else, and she wouldn't go on alone, so she waited for him and then, she simply left.

Time, or lack thereof...

You know, I'm planning on taking off 2.5 days next week. I'm taking Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning off for vacation. (We closed Wednesday afternoon, Thursday and Friday.) So, in essence, I have all week off.

But, it's not enough time off for everything I want to accomplish. Here's my list...

1. Go deer hunting.
2. Go Christmas shopping with Mom--before Thanksgiving.
3. Put up our Christmas decorations.
4. Get the chicken brooder ready.
5. Clean the house really well.
6. Move the Hoosier into the dining room, move the old Armoir into the bedroom, move the dresser from the bedroom into the garage till we can get it to Bob and Kim. (Which means they all have to be emptied and then re-loaded with...stuff...)
7. Get Steve's "inheritance" that we've got in the garage to his house and out of my way.
8. Go to Colo Springs and spend 3-4 days with our family out there...
9. Spend Saturday--this coming Saturday at the Berends Thanksgiving.
10. Cook items to take to the Berends thanksgiving.
11. Take Miss Kat to see Twilight.
12. Buy Andy some dress clothes for his Basketball games.

It's too much! I can't get it all done. So, here's what I think will actually get done:

1. Cook...something for the Berends Thanksgiving.
2. Attend the Berends Thanksgiving.
3. Take Miss Kat to see Twilight.
4. Buy Andy's clothes.
5. Clean the house.
6. Go to Colo Springs.

If I'm lucky, I'll get to go shopping with Mom. We used to do this years ago--before I had children. Mom, Sandy and I went somewhere together before Thanksgiving. We'd spend the night in a hotel, and shop. We'd get all our Christmas shopping done in one day. We haven't done that since right after Andy was born. I took him along when he was a baby. Big mistake. I haven't gotten to do it since then.

If I'm really lucky, I'll get to do all the above and hunt too.

If I'm really, really lucky, I'll get to do all of the above and move around my furniture. Which will allow me to put up the Christmas decorations.

If I'm really, really, really lucky, then Steve will be able to haul his crap...I mean inheritance...home.

If I'm super lucky, then it will all happen.

But, I'm not counting on it.

Are you tired of Chickens yet?

Guess what!

I ordered me some chickens yesterday!

Yep, I will soon be the proud owner of 25 Buff Orpington pullets. They should arrive in the mail within the next 3 weeks.

That gives me time to get their brooder ready and to get electricity out to the chicken house.

It will probably mean that I have to take a morning off of work to get them settled, but I've got lots of comp time and lots of vacation time.

I'm so stinkin' excited!

Now, has anyone seen an IQ test for chickens?

You know, when I decided to to the "I want that Wednesday" posts, I really thought I'd have to struggle to find things I wanted. I'm not really that materialistic, and I guess most of what I want falls into the category of "stuff that makes me more self-sufficient" or maybe it makes me more "country" or even a "hick."

I don't care. I like me, and I like our "hick" life!

Today the items on my discriminating list include items that we need for processing deer. We butchered Kev's deer all by ourselves, but it wasn't pretty. We quickly discovered the necessity of having a good set of knives. A butchering set. Now, I have a set of kitchen knives, but they are cheap knives and just don't hold up to the demands of cutting up meat. They got duller and duller and duller as we worked. I've never mastered the art of sharpening knives with a steel either. That was Daddy's job and Kev sometimes sharpens my knives. But, we really really need a good set of knives.

Besides a good set of knives, I also need a new one of these...
It's a vacuum sealer. Or, some call it by one of the brand names-- "Seal-a-meal". I need a heavy duty one. I have a cheap one, but it wasn't cooperating with me when we were packaging our not-quite-professionally-cut meat. Sometimes, it would seal, other times, I had to baby it along. So, I want a new sealer.

Finally, I want one of these:




We make lots of jerky out of deer meat. We borrowed this exact model a couple of years ago from a friend in Colby. It was FABULOUS! We loved it! We've been saving up for one of these, and we want this exact model. Besides drying jerky, I can dry onions, fruit, and herbs (if my herbs ever produce enough to dry). I can make fruit rolls and lots of other fun stuff.

Someday, I'll have all this stuff. Then, butchering & processing meat will be so much easier. Maybe by then, we'll be good enough that our meat cuts will even look like they should...

(Hey, I should update you all too...I got my meat grinder that I wanted about a month ago. It worked so nice! Just ground that deer meat up into burger like a pro! While our steaks aren't pretty, at least our burger looks like burger!)

The hardest part of hunting

Today, at work, I mentioned to a co-worker that I was planning on spending all day tomorrow in my tree stand, hunting.

He asked if I took snacks. I said no. For the record, this is why I don't eat or drink when hunting...

Early in the morning, I put on fresh undergarments. Over that, I add long-underwear. Next, I put on a warm shirt. Then I put on the camo pants/jeans. Finally, I add a camo sweatshirt. My hunting socks and boots are last. All this is bulky and heavy.

Then, we drive to our spot, where first, I take a potty break, then I add coveralls, (bulk), coat (more bulk), gloves, head net, hat and safety belt. The safety belt has straps that go over my shoulders and under each arm, and other straps that go around and between each leg. Another strap goes around my waist and a final strap usually attaches to the belt between my shoulder blades and is wrapped around the tree--and it has to be under your coat, but on top of everything else. Finally, I grab my backpack and bow and head off for the tree stand.

To get to the tree, I have to go through a pasture, and through a field, climb over a couple of barbed-wire fences, and try not to catch my clothes on the barbed wire...I always catch something on the barbed wire...

I do all this, in the dark, trying to be quiet so not to scare off any deer.

Finally, I arrive at the tree and climb up the ladder to the tree stand. When I get to the top, I take off the backpack and hang it to the side of my stand. Then, I hook my safety belt to the tree. Finally, I pull up my bow (with a rope) and get ready to hunt. Now, it's still dark, so I can sit and rest until it's light enough to see and shoot.

Ok, so let's say that before leaving the house, I ate and drank.

At some time, usually right after I get settled into my tree, what went in, now wants out.

If I were a guy, I'd just whip things out and take care of the coffee or hot chocolate or Dr. Pepper--right there from the tree stand.

But, I'm not a guy, and don't have anything to whip out.

So, I have to make sure the bow and more specifically, the arrow, is in a safe location. Then, I have to carefully look around to make sure there aren't any deer watching, unhook my safety belt, quietly climb down from the tree stand, quietly walk away from my tree, take off my safety belt, my coat, and my coveralls. Then, I have to pull down the pants and both pairs of undergarments; do my business, then get re-dressed, put my coveralls, coat and safety belt back on and go back to the tree and...repeat.

I've tried doing...it...from the tree stand, like the guys, but there's too great of a risk of

1. Falling from the tree and
2. "Watering" the ladder rungs, which could freeze and would be a greater hazard when I was done hunting for the day.
3. Or, getting some or all of my clothing wet.
4. Or, having my shiny white hiney being spotted by the world record buck, who would then take off--after letting me see him running away from my big, shiny, white hiney.

A couple of trips up and down the ladder makes me really tired. And, it tends to scare off the deer. (Who are probably really hiding and laughing hysterically at me.)

Don't even ask what guys do when they need to do that other thing. Knowing guys, they'd probably do that from their tree stands too. But, I don't know, and I don't want to know.

And you thought the hardest part of hunting was shooting the deer...