I miss Frannie

Yesterday was a pretty good day--until we got home.

When we got home, we found Emily and Midnight, our dogs, in the goat pen. They had gotten out of their pen. When Emily came running to us, her mouth was covered in blood. I quickly counted the chickens, all there. My second thought was that Emily hurt herself. She wouldn't come to me. My third thought was that she hurt one of the goats.

Turning, I saw that Winter was standing and talking to us from the corner. Frannie was sitting on the ground. Atypical behavior. Walking out to her, she "maaa-d" at me but didn't get up. She couldnt. One of her hind legs was all but gone. Both bones above the hock were exposed and broken. No flesh on her leg. Blood spurting.

Lynn had come out to the house as we got home, he had to pick something up. I called him over. We both agreed that we'd have to put Frannie down or she'd die a slow death. I went to get the pistol. Lynn said he's shoot her. By this time, she'd stood up and hobbled over to us. I think nerves had been severed, as she wasn't crying. Maybe she was in shock. Lynn put the gun to her head, fired and she dropped. Quick and merciful.

Wrong.

The .22 shells were hollow-points. Goats have very thick skulls. She started crying. Another shot. Then one through the eye. I was trying to get hold of our neighbors, as Bob is a cop and has heavier ammunition. I couldn't reach him. I finally did, after Fran has been suffering for at least 30 minutes. He came over and finished it. Finally.

Kevin got home right after we'd finished. He helped load Fran up, as Bob and Kim offered to dispose of the body for us. We had no where to put her.

Frannie was 6 weeks away from kidding. I was looking forward to the kidding and raising babies. Winter, Fran's daughter and companion is also pregnant. She was also starting to get very stressed. I called the owner of the livestock barn, to see if he might have a goat we could either buy or borrow. He did. Kev and I went to his house and brought home a nanny to help settle Winter down. We were so afraid she'd miscarry, as goats panic when alone.

Kevin chained Emily up. Outside. All night. We've mentioned to each other that we can't have livestock and a killer dog. I feel guilty because he has already had to give up one dog because of me. This would make 2. The goats are mine and Andy's. Kevin isn't a livestock man. I don't want to have to get rid of Emily, but I also don't want to have to get rid of our goats and chickens. I now suspect that Emily has killed many of my chickens and eaten the evidence while we've been gone. I'm so angry with Emily. How could she eat Frannie's leg. How could she do that wile Fran was alive? I hate Emily. I hate myself. I miss Fran.