My little girl

My little girl is growing up. Last night, I watched Kat perform in the 5th grade music program. She had a speaking part as "Student 6". She was so excited to have the part--a "valley girl" type character. She likes performing, in fact, she's had parts in 4 of the last 5 school programs, so she must be fairly good...or maybe it's because she's so darn cute.

But, anyway, watching her, on stage with her classmates, I realized that she's not a little girl anymore. She's a girl on the verge of puberty, and from there, it will be a short jump to adulthood. My baby is gone, and she'll never come back.

I'm glad she's growing up, I'm glad she's S.L.O.W.L.Y. maturing, and acting more grown up. But sometimes, I miss my little girl. And, I still see her, but her interests are changing. She still likes dolls, but she likes music. She likes talking on the phone to her friends. She's nagging me to get internet at home again so she can chat. She giggles about boys. In fact, she asked me if she can "go with" a boy. I know that in the 5th grade, "going with" a boy just means that you like each other. That's fine. But she's not "going" anywhere with a boy until she's much older!

We ate supper at Pizza Hut last night. Kat had a friend of hers with us, J. J is "going with" a boy, J. (Hum, J + J, might get confusing!) J, the boy, came in to eat with his dad and stepmom. Somehow, once he came in, the girls couldn't simply eat, they had to be...well, girls! Giggly girls, wiggly girls. Girls who watched J the boy, and Girls who whispered, giggled, primped, hid behind their hands. Girls, who normally would finish off 4 - 5 pieces of pizza, could only manage to eat 2. O my. What an experience! Giggly girls trying to not be obvious about liking the only boy in the restaurant. Subtlety was not their strong suit.

Kat has good friends, a lot of friends. She treats everyone in her class well (from what I can see!) ; she's liked by the teachers (even tho we all acknowledge that she's a little lazy when it comes to schoolwork.) She's a good kid. And, she's cute. She's got her dad's bone structure. I never noticed it before, but she definately has Kev's facial structure, that pointy chin, thin face, well balanced features. She's small and petite. Something I never was.

She has an individuality and a strength of character. She will never do something just because someone wants her to do it. If she doesn't want to do it, she won't. And I know this, because we go round and round about cleaning up her room, about practicing her flute, about doing chores, about the color of the sky. I swear, if I said it was blue, she'd argue that it's really purple! And, I've seen her tell her friends that she's doing this, and NOT that. Somehow, they fall into line with her, and not the other way around.

Her individuality shows up in her clothing. She knows what she likes and she can put together outfits that might not work for anyone, but somehow do for her. She dresses with confidence and isn't ever afraid to be an individual. She just doesn't care if someone thinks an outfit looks stupid, if she likes it, she's gonna wear it. And somehow, it always looks pretty good!

She's strong willed and has a great deal of self confidence. Both definately gifts from her father. And, sometimes, she's not so confident, when she's sobbing in my arms, she's my little girl, and I can make the world right again.

We have a nightly ritual. At bedtime, Kat comes over to me, we give each other two "european" kisses--you know, kiss the air by the right cheek then the left--then one on the lips, and I have to say, "Good night, love you, sweet dreams, see you in the morning." Then she's off to bed.

She's a girl on the verge of womanhood. I hope it holds off just a little longer.