WANTED: DEAD OR...

At this time, we wish to report the untimely death and mutilation of Ms. Set N. Hen and the presumed death of her young child, New B. Chick.

Ms. Hen was discovered on the floor of her home early last evening at approximately 5 p.m. Her mutilated remains were left carelessly and were in disarray. No visible evidence remained as to the fate of her child, New B. Chick who was 4 days old.

It has been reported that Ms. Hen recently changed her normal roosting activity to provide warmth and protection to her child. It is assumed that this abnormal behavior directly led to her brutal and unnecessary death.

A search for a suspect is currently underway. Witnesses reported seeing said suspect hanging out in a nearby window well prior to the murder. Suspect is reported to be wearing a long black coat with a vivid white stripe running down the back of said suspect. Suspect is also reported as having a distinctive odor. Suspect is considered dangerous and should be approached with extreme caution. Suspect should not be taken alive.

Funeral services for Ms. Hen, and memorial services for New B. Chick were held last evening at the local burn barrel. No autopsy was performed, as there weren't enough remains to perform said autopsy. The family has not yet established a memorial fund.