Concerts and responsibility

I got a phone call at work yesterday at 4:00 in the afternoon.

It was Miss Kat, who was in the middle of a crisis.

"Mom, where's our ribbon? I need ribbon for the concert tonight."

Confusion ruled for me, being a Mom, I mentally had many thoughts run quickly through my head--what's the ribbon for...Crap, where is the ribbon...Can't she use something else... Maybe I gave the ribbon to Kim...Wonder if that box is still downstairs...what kind of ribbon...she'll probably hate any ribbon I have...didn't all my ribbon have wire in it...is it packed already...do I want her going through the Christmas boxes...

Miss Kat evidently needed ribbon to "decorate her flute" for the concert. It was their Christmas concert and they were given permission to decorate their instruments with tinsel or garland or ribbon.

I reminded her of her Santa hat and suggested she wear that. I also told her to look in one of the Christmas boxes--in the store room for some garland.

She didn't call back, so I'd guess she found what she needed. My hope is she put it all back and away.

This is the first concert I've ever missed. The sad part is Kev missed it too. My excuse is I'm 150 miles away. Kev's excuse is, it's his last night of bowling, and he couldn't find a substitute. We are probably being called bad parents by those in the community who noticed that Miss Kat was watched only by her big brother (who absolutely refused to take my camera to get pictures.)

I'm sure there are lots of rumors, I probably just up and left Kevin and left him the kids. Our divorce will probably soon be announced. I'm sure I left him for another man...or maybe another woman. My poor children, stuck with such parents. After all, their Mother just up and left and their father, the wretch, is sitting at the bowling alley probably drunk as a skunk instead of supporting his child and her concert. (Maybe someone will think he's drunk as a skunk at the bowling alley because I broke his heart...yeah, that's it...I broke his heart by leaving him with those poor children to raise while I ran off to Bermuda with my Latin-lesbian-lover. yeah.) OK, back to reality...

The interesting thing is, Kat was fine with neither of us being able to attend. She understood our other commitments. Oh, she didn't necessarily like the fact that we couldn't be there, but she understood. She didn't throw a fit, she didn't pout. She just accepted reality and went her merry little way. Andy stepped in and offered to drive her, watch the concert, and bring her home. My kids are growing up.

I find it interesting...that society now demands that we parents put our whole lives on hold for our children and their activities. Yes, being a part of our children's lives is important. Showing them our faith, confidence, support and pride is important. But, I think that by putting all our needs and responsibilities behind those of our kids is making our society a much more selfish society. It's all about me, me, me...and you have to be there for me, me, me and if you're not there for me, me, me...then you are bad, bad, bad.

The fact that my child understood why her parents couldn't attend, and the fact that she accepted it as...life, tells me that Kev and I are doing something right. That not only do we give our time to our children, but that at times, it's important for them to give something back to us. And this time, it was time for Kat to realize that while we might want to be there for everything, in reality we can't. And, we weren't there because we didn't care, but because we couldn't. And even though we weren't there, she still had to be there herself. She was fulfilling her responsibility just as we were fulfilling our responsibility.

I think that's a good thing.