Friday, October 26, 2007

Last day

Today is the day. My last day at CCC. Most of my office is packed and it looks very lonely in here. It's so empty that I think if I yelled, I'd get echos bouncing off the walls. Hopefully, I'll leave the way I want to, and quietly walk out with no fanfare. Not sure I could take fanfare. This is much more emotional than I thought it would be. But, CCC has been a part of my life for 20 years as a professional and 2 as a student. It's been my home for many, many years. Yes, I've grown to hate many things about it, but it's still a part of who I am.

Enough of this dribble.

Ok, today, I'm turning in my keys, I'm finishing up my office packing. I'm wiping off my computer, (and that will take a huge portion of the day. My lord, why did I install some of this...stuff...)

Jody and I are NOT crying. Nope, nope, nope.

So, importantly for you all, I don't know when I'll have time to blog again. I hope to "borrow" son Andy's laptop and then "borrow" my Mother's neighbor's wireless connection and post some stuff to sell on e-bay. Maybe I'll get to blog next week while I'm doing that...lets all hope that the emotional dribble stops today and you, my poor 6 readers, can read something fun and funny and irreverent. I'm much better at the irreverent and stupid than I am the emotional and sentimental.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


I've known that I'm leaving for a month now and it's been cool, refreshing, comfortable. I've been able to brush off lots of politics and troublesome issues just by thinking "It's not my problem, I'm out of here." And yet, as I've worked on various committees and various projects, I have kept saying "We," and "our," and "I," and "my."

Until yesterday. I'm not sure what happened, but yesterday, it hit me hard. I'm really leaving, I've crossed the point-of-no-return, what the heck am I doing? So, being me, I got weepy. And, I was weepy and crying all damn day.

I hate being weepy. I hate being an "emotional woman." Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I couldn't talk to Monica, cause I was weepy. Couldn't talk to Jody, cause I was weepy. Pat said it was good for me to be weepy, cause I'm letting out all my stress and anxiety. (She was probably just grateful that she didn't have give me another massage and try to loosen up my tight, tight neck and shoulder muscles...)

But it still doesn't mean that I have to like it. Resolution for today and tomorrow, No more crying.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A place to call home

Yesterday, I went with Kev to a job interview in Dodge. While he was interviewing, I was finding a realtor and trying to find some places to look at--a place which we want to call home.

I've been looking at realty websites, at houses online in the area. There's not much that I want to consider, and I'm really afraid that we won't be able to find anything of the caliber of the place we have now...

We want a place in the country, preferably south or west of Dodge. I want 4 or more bedrooms, 3 at a minimum. We want a nice sized kitchen with ample storage. We need 2 or more bathrooms and a laundry/mudroom area. We'd like some outbuildings, some trees, a view, good water, a place easy to get to in all kinds of weather. We want a basement.

What we looked at yesterday was rather disappointing. And, when we got home, I was so grateful for the beautiful home we have.

House A is 10 miles west of Dodge. It used to belong to a family that owned several grain elevators. In fact, it's right across the street from a large grain elevator. It's an old house that has been added on to over and over and over. You can track the additions by 1. carpet, and 2. style and 3. holes in walls, often called doorways. The only original rooms are two small bedrooms, probably 10 x 10 and the dining room, which was the most beautiful room in the house. It still had it's arts and crafts styling. If I could take that room and gut the rest, it could work, but it would have to be gutted and I'm not sure it could be gutted, because when they would add on, they'd cut a hole in the wall--the structural wall and then add another room(s) on. No fooling, it took us 10 minutes to find the front door from the inside (we came in the back door.) And the outbuildings were cobbled together just as badly as the house was.

Then the train went by, and so did we. We could live with trucks and harvest season at an elevator, we could slowly remodel, but we can't live right on the train tracks.

House B was also an old farmhouse that had been idiots. It had 4 acres, but was surrounded by wheat fields. Few trees, no yard to speak of, odd roof line and bathrooms. It had potential, but was rather icky and Kev found lots of evidence of water leaks. Nope, not going to deal with that. Good bye house B.

I also looked at a couple of lots that we maybe could build on. Only problem was they were out east of town by the meat packing plants. No thanks.

So we didn't find anything we would even consider buying. Yes, we only looked at two houses. Lord, I hope there is something better.

I want to find a nice house, one that says "Shell, this is your home. This is the place for you. This is where you need to live." I found one house that said that to me...can I find another one? O lord, am I making a mistake, moving to another part of the State?

Monday, October 22, 2007


I packed some yesterday. I leave my family in one week, and I just started packing yesterday. I packed only necessary items yesterday.

Stuff like China. And glass ware. Oh, and one box of books. (which I have to repack, because no one can lift the dang thing.)

Then I decided to go into my "craft room/library" formerly known as Kat's old bedroom.

I bagged up all my fabric, one nice big trash bag full. I tossed lots of marginal craft items, you know, those scraps and miscellaneous...stuff, that you might use someday, so you keep it. I packed up all my embroidery stuff and my pattern books.

Now, is any of this stuff useful? Is any of this stuff important and will it be anything I will personally use in the next two months while I'm homeless? No.

Have I packed anything that I will need--things like, clothes, food, personal hygiene stuff, sheets, blankets, etc? Nope, not one item.

But, I've made a mental list of what all I think I need to take.

  1. TV with DVD player and VHS player for those nights I'm alone in the house.
  2. Stereo with CD's to listen to when I don't have any DVD's or VHS tapes.
  3. My embroidery stuff, so I can cross stitch or embroidery tea towels at night while relaxing in front of the TV or Stereo. (unless I'm at Mom and Dad's)
  4. Work clothes.
  5. Shoes.
  6. Necessary clothing items.
  7. One dresser.
  8. Maybe one linen cabinet (cause it's taking up space and won't show well in realty brochure...)
  9. Kev's collectible cars and my collectible Garfield stuff so I can list it on EBay. (we bought a digital camera yesterday, just to do this...)
  10. Food--yet to be determined.
  11. books. I always pack books. Always.
  12. At least two boxes to go to my new office.

I'm sure there's more that I'll need, it's just that I'm really procrastinating about packing. I need to get on the ball, but motivation is seriously lacking. Everything is so up-in-the-air, and I don't like things being up-in-the-air. This week is it, my last week. I've got to do something besides procrastinating....

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I've warned those that I love that this Blog might have lots of venting in it until we are all settled.

So today, I'm venting. I'm venting about...

ladies slacks, or pants. Whichever is proper these days. I don't really care, but I'm gonna vent about them and I'm gonna call them pants.

I hate buying pants. I hate buying them. Why?

Because, I have long legs. And, a long torso. Makes shopping delightful.

So, my black pants wore out. They flat wore out, so I needed new ones. I found the same brand as my black pants, but they changed the styling, so the size of my old black pants is not the same size as my new black pants. The new ones are lower waisted, which is better for me, because the waist band will not be rolling down to my waist. But, sadly, they are a different size. And more sadly, the blankety-blank-blank store didn't have talls, or long pants.

So, because I needed black pants without holes in them, I bought some in this different size, in medium length.

Big mistake. They are too short. They barely come to the top of my shoes. So when I walk, they flap around my ankles. Too short. I hate them. HATE THEM!


I'm going shopping again, looking for black pants with long legs and then I'll have a pair to donate to someone with short legs, cause I'm never wearing these goofy things ever again.

Note to self: NEVER, NEVER BUY AVERAGE LENGTH PANTS AGAIN. Next time, go naked.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Car Fever

Andy has car fever. It's a bad case, he's having hot and cold flashes. He breaks into a sweat daily. He can't drive by the car lot without that rubber-necking reflex kicking in. If he's driving, he also suffers from that jerking motion, sending the car into the car lot. He's on to be on a first name basis with the car dealers, who do all they can to ease the pain and suffering of this dread disease.

When they see him coming, the whip out the old estimate pad and quote him a price and they're nice enough to figure the tax for him too.

There's no treatment for this fever, only a cure. An expensive cure...

The cure will only cost $10,000 or so.

I have the pleasure to hear daily how he hates driving the Ranger pickup, you know, that Ranger pickup that he blew up the motor in this summer? That Ranger pickup, which he hasn't yet paid a dime for a new motor. The bank of Mom and Dad hasn't called in the note yet, but he hasn't volunteered any funds either. I take that back, he paid for the sensor that we just got replaced...$158.

But, the Ranger, which is paid for and which only has to have liability insurance on it, just isn't cool. He needs a car. And he's pushing really hard right now, because Kev's car isn't working at the moment. So Andy, for the past two days, has had to bring his mother to work and his sister to school (gasp)! And then (horrors) he has had to pick his mother up from work and (gasp) drive her home! And if that isn't bad enough, his mother also has to take him to work and then drop off a vehicle for him to drive home in. Oh, the humiliation, his friends and co-workers have to see that he doesn't have his very own car. They have to see his Mom bring him to work. They have to see him talk to his mom when she drops off the keys. It's just more than he can bear.

Here's his rationale...we need to let him buy a car of his very own so that we, his deserving parents, would have a spare car, so that when one of our vehicles isn't working, we would have that spare and we wouldn't have to inconvenience him. Yeah, right.

So, he wants a car. Not just any old car either, but a Mustang, a cool car, with standard transmission, a fast car.

He wants to trade OUR Ranger in on a car for him--one that he buys, one that he tinkers with and "punks" out.

And he's really not subtle, and he's really annoying, and he's not taking NO for an answer.

So being the wonderful, loving, supportive Mother that I am, I called the dealership yesterday. I talked to a dealer, who has been visiting with Andy, but who also knows Kev and I. (Hey, it's a small town!) He understands our problem, as he is the father of a 15 year old who is campaigning for a RED Mustang. Anyway, he told me how much the Mustang was and what interest rate we'd get (10%, cause we, the evil parents would have to co-sign), and what payments would be for 48 months...$250 a month.

Then, I called the Insurance Company. I know the gal at the Insurance Office. We chatted about our daughters and about moving and about teenagers and cars while she looked up the VIN and what insurance would be on a 2002 Mustang V6 Coupe for a 16 year old boy with not-so-good grades, using the lowest deductibles. $1550 a year...or $130 a month. (It's nice having friends in high places who can manipulate the database!)

Last night, we broke the news to Andy--the cost of buying this car. Then his loving, and less supportive father asked what his last paycheck amounted to.

$125, for 2 weeks work. Ouch. Reality hit. He pouted. We didn't. I didn't even gloat. I wanted to, but I refrained from showing any emotion even resembling satisfaction, or self-righteousness. I am always supportive and understanding. Always, just ask me!

I realize this isn't a cure, it's just a band aid, but for now, hopefully, the car fever will subside.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


It's 8:30 a.m. and I already have a "College Headache".

It's a tension headache. But most of my stress and tension comes from the College, so that's what we call these headaches. It will get worse and eventually develop into a migraine. By tonight, all I will want to do is crawl into bed and cry from the pain.

Today's headache probably isn't all college related. It's probably related to the stress of moving and not having packed a thing. It's related to having a house to sell and not having it listed yet, and not quite ready to list yet. It's the stress of not having a clue where we will be living. It's the stress of me wondering if I'm messing up and screwing up the lives of my family.

It's related to a car that isn't running which inconveniences Andy, Kevin and me. Andy's inconvenienced because he has to take me to school and then I have to take him to work. Kevin is inconvenienced because he has to take the Diesel, which uses more fuel and more expensive fuel. And it inconveniences me because I can't leave campus all day and I have to listen to my son whine about having mean parents who won't let him buy a car of his very own.

My headache is related to having an employee out all day today. She's my right arm and I'm really aware of how short our time together is.

The college is contributing to my headache because we are finally close to finishing up negotiations, and I have several meetings related to that this week. All are stressful. And I need to wrap up things here, which is stressful.

I need to learn how to stress without internalizing everything. My jaw is so tight already today, that it aches--at 8:30 in the morning.

Wonder if anyone would notice if I put some good old relaxing booze in my Dr Pepper...that just might be the ticket...Maybe I'd be better off asking those of you who pray to ask the Man Upstairs to help me cope with this stress. That's probably better than booze...but... booze does taste good...

Just kidding...really...

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

He made me cry.

I cried at work today, not 1/2 an hour ago.

All week, I've had folks come in saying "I heard a rumor that you were leaving." No big deal. The rumor is true, I'm leaving.

This was no different, a fellow teacher came in, one who started here the same year I did.

"I heard a rumor, " he said.

"It's true." I replied.

He then went on to say the nicest thing. He was sincere and well, it made me cry.

All he said was thank you for always being nice to him, and that he wished me well.

The interesting part is this gentleman isn't a colleague that I'm close to. I'm not. He's almost a stereotypical absent-minded professor.

And he made me cry.

I don't like to cry. I don't want to cry. I'm still fighting this. But this man's good-bye was probably the most sincere one I've gotten yet.

And he made me cry.

This leaving thing just might prove to be harder than I thought.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Cleaning the bathroom

I just don't know about this "moving" stuff. It's starting to bother me...

We need to list the house. But before listing the house, we need to pick up, clean up, remove the normal house clutter, fix a couple of thing, etc.

Last weekend, I cleaned the carpets and cleaned the living room and dining room areas.

Yesterday, I scrubbed both upstairs bathrooms, ours and Miss Kat's. Miss Kat cleaned her bathroom before I re-cleaned her bathroom. She doesn't understand the concept of "Put your crap away." Evidently, that means move-it-around-and-set-it-in-different-locations. And, how many opened bottles with less than one inch of shampoo does a girl need? She had 4, F-O-U-R bottles of shampoo sitting around the tub. And 3 razors. The child has just started shaving her legs this fall and she had THREE razors! I'm lucky to find one, and I'm really lucky for it to be sharp enough to cut the hair on my legs.

I also have a bone to pick with the idiot who invented the aerosol hair color. There was blue hair color all over every vertical and horizontal surface in that room. Even the toilet seat had blue hair color on it. The floor had a blue tint--on the white portions of the floor! It looked like a blue bomb had gone off. And, it was still there--AFTER Miss Kat "cleaned".

And toilet paper. Why oh why can't the girl put the roll ON the roll holder? And, why, when she uses t.p. for kleenx, can't she throw it away? Is it funner to have those snotty pieces of t.p. sitting around for souvaniers, or comparison? I just don't understand.

Yes, I realize that I should have made her clean the bathroom to my standards, but...see, it was therapy for me. I was mad, so I scrubbed and muttered and scrubber harder and muttered and cursed my child under my breath. And I purged. I tossed lots and lots of stuff. If Miss Kat had "helped", then I wouldn't have been able to purge as much--like 3 bottles of shampoo and 3 of conditioner and two razors and upteen t.p. kleenx and 4 old ratty toothbrushes and 3 different tubes of toothpaste and...

I wonder what Andy's bathroom holds for me. Boy funk. That's what, boy funk. Yeesh, something to look forward to...not.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Things you need to think about when moving...

There's a new theme to my blog now, the moving aspect... holy cow, there's lots to think about and do before making this big move.

things like:

What about our medical we take them, or when and if we find a Dr there, do we just let the Dr get our records. I have no earthly idea. I haven't been to the Dr in 2 years or so. Last time anyone in our family was at the Dr was 2 years ago when Andy was hospitalized with pneumonia.

What about school records...this one, I'm not sure about either, especially since we aren't sure where the kids will be going to school. But, will the school give me their records, or do they get sent straight to the new school?

Selling our place...Do we take all the stock panels, do we take the dog kennel, do we take the rabbits, goats, and chickens? How do we take them? When do we take them? Do we want to take them? How much is the house worth? How much can we get for it? Can it sell quickly? Can Miss Kat ever get her room clean enough to show the house? When do we need to start packing? What do we pack first? Where do we store what we've packed?

Starting the new job...I'm not ready to go there yet.

Finding Kev a new job...Why am I the one updating his resume? Why am I the one getting it in the mail?

I need to think about something else for a yes, chicks and chickens.

It's Friday. the chicks are over a week old and there are 4 left. Yep, 4. For the past 3 days, they, and their Mama, have been contained in the extra large kennel, safe from predators. I've let them out in the evenings for a couple of hours. We've got to figure out how to keep the cats out of their "safety" area...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Livin in a small town...

You never realize how small of a town this is until you make a life changing decision, and everyone, and I mean everyone, knows about it within 3 days.

We shot trap last night and everyone there knew, or "heard a rumor" that we were leaving. Holy cow people, I just decided on Friday afternoon, at 3 p.m. How can the news have spread that fast?

I just gave official notice to my Boss yesterday and it's all over campus this morning. Less than 24 hours, and it's all over campus. I've had 4 phone calls already this morning and it's only 8:30.


Last night, I shot trap for the last time with my team, "Shooters with Hooters." We've shot together for 4 or 5 years now. We've had some rough times, with team members who didn't quite "fit". We've had some really good times. We've never had a day when we all shot to our potential, by that I mean we never were "on" at the same time. But we've consistently improved.

Last night was the last time I'll ever shoot with these gals. Some, I may never see again. Man, this moving stuff is emotional. Thanks for shooting with me girls. I'm gonna miss you all.

I'm going to miss ragging Jody about messing up our patterns... "3, 3, 3, 3, 2" or "5, 4, 3, 2, 4" or "3, 3, 3, 3, 0"

I'm gonna miss ragging Ann about breaking rock left and right and making the rest of us look bad.

I'm gonna miss Carol and Andy arguing about who was the better shot, and then watching them compete against each other.

I'm gonna miss Sharon's laugh, and our exchanged looks of disgust or glee when we were "on". (Like that happens very often!)

I'm gonna miss Kevin, Lynn and Dude, our coaches who sometimes pissed all of us off with their "constructive criticism."

I'm gonna miss those times when someone's gun malfunctioned.

I'm gonna miss it all.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

About that job...

Ok, now I can share information about that job...

I couldn't say anything until we had told our immediate families. You know, the kids should know first, then the parents, then the grandparents, then the brothers and sisters then the friends who are family, then the rest of you all.

But, I'm not good. The co-workers heard first, then the husband, then the best friend, then the daughter, then the best friend's kids and husband, then the co-archery coach, then a couple of other friends, then another best friend, then the son...

Yeah, I don't do anything right.

It just kinda happened that way. But, now the really important people the parents, the family, etc. It's just those of you who read here who don't know.

I took the job.

Our family will be leaving our home of 20 years and strike off into the wild blue yonder into new careers in a new community. We'll be moving 150 miles away from here. I'll be moving before the rest of the family, as I have to start my new job at Dodge City Community College on November 1. Kev and the kids will stay here probably until the end of December. Hopefully our place will sell by then.

The big decision for us now is...where to live.

We won't be living in Dodge. We want another place in the country. We'd prefer something in the boonies, yet within easy commuting distance of Dodge. For some reason, I don't want my kids to go to school where I went. It's too far of a commute for Kev and I (50 miles), so we're looking at other options. But our house has to sell before we can make any concrete decisions.

It's a scary thing for us. It's an exciting time for us. It's going to have it's ups and downs, but we'll get through it...together.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Movin' day

Friday night, we had a storm blow in. And, we were planning on going to the Football game, for the big Homecoming ceremony. But first on my agenda was movin' Mama Hen and her babies. I got home promptly at 4:20 p.m., and changed into jeans. Then I put on my coat and gloves. The coat and gloves were for protection from Mama's beak, which I anticipated being jammed into a hand or arm sometime during this forced relocation.

I then marched outside, unwilling children in tow to assist.

But the nest was bare. Ok, not bare, there were two dead chicks and 4 eggs, but no hen. No chicks. O no.

We looked under the porches, all three of them. No chicks, no hen.

We looked under the ceder trees. No chicks, no hen.

We looked in the chicken yard. No chicks, lost of hens, but not the right hen.

We looked out in the feed shed. No chicks, no hen.

We looked in the shop. No chicks, no hen.


I looked out north of the shop. Hen and chicks. What a good Mama. She'd brought her eight babies to a spot out of the wind where there was lots of cracked corn spilled on the ground and lots of nice juicy bugs to eat. So, I started picking up babies and put them into the kennel. Then, I picked up Mama, who didn't even try to peck me, and put her into the kennel too. I got the last couple of babies and them carried the whole kit 'n caboodle to the chicken pen.

We have a small fenced area inside the chicken pen, so I set the kennel inside that area, got them water and feed, and left them to roam their new home.

All seems to be well, except, well...on Friday, there were eight babies. Saturday night, there were seven. And this morning, there were six. I'm not sure where these little ones are disappearing to. I'm not sure if a cat is getting a nice lunch, or if they find a way out of the pen and then get lost and then get caught by a cat. I don't know. But, at this rate, by Saturday, I won't have any more chicks...again. sigh.

So goes life on a farm.