I'm going to turn into one of those old people who worry constantly about running out of money while having $40,000 or so in the checkbook.
I'm not there yet, but in another 30-40 years, I'll be there.
We spend our earnings pretty well right now, but every time I buy something, I worry about it costing too much, if I really need it, can I make it unti next payday, etc.
Here's an example. Miss Kat needed new shoes. So I bought some. And then, I worried about if she R.E.A.L.L.Y. needed them. I mean, duct tape can hold her old ones together, right? And, the Chinese figured it out centuries ago--just bind those feet and they'll stop growing. She could get by--I might need that money. Pay day is 3 days away. We've only got $400 in the account. What if I need that $15 that I spent on her shoes!
It's a sickness.
Payday was yesterday. I paid bills last night. We will go 2 more weeks till another pay day. And, I'm worried. All the bills are paid. But I might need to spend some money on an upcoming emergency. I don't want to go to the store and buy food. We might need to buy something more important. What the heck's more important than food???
Can't express my fear to Kev--he'll just rooollll his eyes and tell me to stop worrying. After all, we've got money in savings. If we have to, we'll pull some out temporarily. Logical? Yes. Calming? sorta. Shuts me up? Every time. Until next pay day.
Oh, yeah, Kel? You were right. I should have bought myself those crocs. I'm kicking myself now. But....what if I had needed that money? Then where would I be???
Friday, April 21, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Today was Job Shadowing day. Miss Kat came to work with me today. I wasn't sure what I'd do with her. It's not unusual for her to come to work. She comes here frequently after school. Granted, 4 p.m. is a very quiet time at a college library. Classes are primarily finished for the day, students are often working, or are relaxing. They do not generally come to the library at 4 p.m.
So, this morning, no studnets until after 10 a.m. Usually, I have several in between 8 and 10. Not today. But, I found plenty to keep her busy and maybe showed her how much work we usually do accomplish.
Kat got to open--turn on lights, computers, copiers, etc. I taught Kat how to cover new books. She covered a couple herself. Then she got to check in a couple of books and even reshelve. She realized how important that call number is, and she realized that she's too short to shelve books on our top shelf! She counted circulated items, and re-shelved magazines. She learned what microfiche is and what syllabbi are. She then got a short tour of the Math/Science building. It's the only one she wasn't familiar with. We were lucky--Pic was in the Chemistry lab and he showed her how to turn water into wine. That was probably the highlight of her morning.
I think Kat learned a lot. I know that I have a greater appreciation of the work I do every day and take for granted. I know I'm tired, from thinking of all the things to show her. It's habit, and takes a lot of energy to explain it all to a 10 year old. I think it was good for both of us. I'm glad it's over.
So, this morning, no studnets until after 10 a.m. Usually, I have several in between 8 and 10. Not today. But, I found plenty to keep her busy and maybe showed her how much work we usually do accomplish.
Kat got to open--turn on lights, computers, copiers, etc. I taught Kat how to cover new books. She covered a couple herself. Then she got to check in a couple of books and even reshelve. She realized how important that call number is, and she realized that she's too short to shelve books on our top shelf! She counted circulated items, and re-shelved magazines. She learned what microfiche is and what syllabbi are. She then got a short tour of the Math/Science building. It's the only one she wasn't familiar with. We were lucky--Pic was in the Chemistry lab and he showed her how to turn water into wine. That was probably the highlight of her morning.
I think Kat learned a lot. I know that I have a greater appreciation of the work I do every day and take for granted. I know I'm tired, from thinking of all the things to show her. It's habit, and takes a lot of energy to explain it all to a 10 year old. I think it was good for both of us. I'm glad it's over.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Me--Politically
I found this on Cowtown Stacy's blog. She's split evenly on the issues. I guessed that I wouldn't be...and I was right. The only problem with these quizzes is that they are so black and white and never really fit me completely. Like the question on owning guns--no hunting options given. So, it didn't really fit. Here's me--Politically in a nutshell.
Your Political Profile |
| Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal |
| Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
| Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
| Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
How Liberal / Conservative Are You?
Morning chores
There's something special and fulfilling about doing chores. I fed the animals this morning, as Kev is off watching turkey and Andy didn't have school. Andy usually does the morning chores, as he is quicker about getting ready for school than his mother. I often do chores on the weekend, and share in the evening chores. I find I'm rather picky in how my young chicks are cared for, and just feel better when doing it myself.
But, this morning, I did all the chores. I got up earlier than normal, let the dogs out, then got myself ready for the day.
The first critters who get fed are the pesky cats. The outside cats. They have an instinctive knowledge of when you will exit the house, and all gather for breakfast. They all gather at the door and send a chorus of "meows" that isn't quite melodic or soothing. As I step outside the door, they twine their supple bodies around my feet, practically tripping me. That is probably their true intent--to trip me, causing me to spill their food, and in doing so, fill their hungry bellies. I perform my Pied Piper impression, shaking the feed can, enticing them all to follow me to the shop where I disperse their meal. While walking towards the shop, they continue twining themselves around my feet. It's a constant obstacle course.
Once the cats are cared for, it's off to the goats. Winter is a true Nubian. She is loud and can be annoying as she announces her hunger. Grabbing her grain, I quickly enter the pen. She rubs against me, encouraging me to hurry up and deposit her meal into the trough. She weighs around 130 lbs, and it's not necessarily easy to get around her to the trough. Once accomplished, I have another goat who now demands my attention by butting my legs. Miss Monkey quickly grabs her bottle and finishes it rapidly, while her siblings sniff me, nibble on my clothes, check out the bottle, etc. Then they decide to investigate what Mom is eating and maybe sneak in a drink while she's distracted.
The pigs are next on the list. Walking toward their pen, I scare up a pheasant who takes off to the west. No sign of the pigs as I enter the pen. They are snuggled up together inside the shed, sleeping in late this morning. But once they hear my voice, they come to investigate. No need to feed them, as they have a self feeder. I just check feed levels and water then exit the pen. Of course while checking, the pigs bless me by pressing their noses against my pant legs. Four pigs, pressing around one human. It's a very similar feeling to that of walking amidst the cats.
The only remaining animals are the chickens. Upon opening the door to the coop, I'm greeted by the 5 adult critters who dash into the clear morning sun. The chicks are cheeping in their brooder. It always surprises me to witness their panic every time I remove the "lid" on the brooder. I do it twice a day. In my mind, they should expect it. After all, I bring fresh water and food which they attack with ravish attention. I note that they are outgrowing their home and wonder when I can introduce them to the adult population. Today, I turn off the heat lamp for the first time. The temperature is forecasted to be 88. They are big enough, that a day without the heat lamp will do them good. And, soon, they will have to learn how to deal with the dark. As I leave the coop, I toss the adults some grain and take a few indulgent seconds to watch them scratch.
On the way back to the house, I take time to look around. The grass is greening up, weeds are popping out of the ground. The dew is heavy on the grass. There's wisps of fog sliding down the valleys of our gentle hills. The lilacs are budding. It looks, smells and sounds like spring. It's peaceful. It's beautiful. It's home.
But, this morning, I did all the chores. I got up earlier than normal, let the dogs out, then got myself ready for the day.
The first critters who get fed are the pesky cats. The outside cats. They have an instinctive knowledge of when you will exit the house, and all gather for breakfast. They all gather at the door and send a chorus of "meows" that isn't quite melodic or soothing. As I step outside the door, they twine their supple bodies around my feet, practically tripping me. That is probably their true intent--to trip me, causing me to spill their food, and in doing so, fill their hungry bellies. I perform my Pied Piper impression, shaking the feed can, enticing them all to follow me to the shop where I disperse their meal. While walking towards the shop, they continue twining themselves around my feet. It's a constant obstacle course.
Once the cats are cared for, it's off to the goats. Winter is a true Nubian. She is loud and can be annoying as she announces her hunger. Grabbing her grain, I quickly enter the pen. She rubs against me, encouraging me to hurry up and deposit her meal into the trough. She weighs around 130 lbs, and it's not necessarily easy to get around her to the trough. Once accomplished, I have another goat who now demands my attention by butting my legs. Miss Monkey quickly grabs her bottle and finishes it rapidly, while her siblings sniff me, nibble on my clothes, check out the bottle, etc. Then they decide to investigate what Mom is eating and maybe sneak in a drink while she's distracted.
The pigs are next on the list. Walking toward their pen, I scare up a pheasant who takes off to the west. No sign of the pigs as I enter the pen. They are snuggled up together inside the shed, sleeping in late this morning. But once they hear my voice, they come to investigate. No need to feed them, as they have a self feeder. I just check feed levels and water then exit the pen. Of course while checking, the pigs bless me by pressing their noses against my pant legs. Four pigs, pressing around one human. It's a very similar feeling to that of walking amidst the cats.
The only remaining animals are the chickens. Upon opening the door to the coop, I'm greeted by the 5 adult critters who dash into the clear morning sun. The chicks are cheeping in their brooder. It always surprises me to witness their panic every time I remove the "lid" on the brooder. I do it twice a day. In my mind, they should expect it. After all, I bring fresh water and food which they attack with ravish attention. I note that they are outgrowing their home and wonder when I can introduce them to the adult population. Today, I turn off the heat lamp for the first time. The temperature is forecasted to be 88. They are big enough, that a day without the heat lamp will do them good. And, soon, they will have to learn how to deal with the dark. As I leave the coop, I toss the adults some grain and take a few indulgent seconds to watch them scratch.
On the way back to the house, I take time to look around. The grass is greening up, weeds are popping out of the ground. The dew is heavy on the grass. There's wisps of fog sliding down the valleys of our gentle hills. The lilacs are budding. It looks, smells and sounds like spring. It's peaceful. It's beautiful. It's home.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
random thoughts
Today's weather is what I wanted for our wedding 11 years ago.
It's a beautiful spring day, the crabapple trees are starting to bud, the blowering pear trees are budding. Lilacs are leafing out and will bloom in a few short weeks. No wind. It's just bright, sunny, and beautiful. It even smells like spring.
Our wedding day wasn't this nice. It was cool, cloudy, and windy. I so wanted a beautiful spring day for my wedding. But instead, I got a beautiful wedding on a spring day.
-------
Kev is just about packed for his Spring Turkey Hunt. He leaves tonight. He'll be gone until Sunday. He'll miss our anniversery. I'm ok with that. We don't wait to celebrate our marriage on just our anniversery. We both work at finding time to do things together. We've decided to try to go on a weekend get-away sometime "soon." I think we've narrowed it down to two spots. Just need to decide when. We haven't gone somewhere alone since...well, since our overnight stay at the hotel on our 5th anniversery. It's time.
-------
I decided over the weekend that Kev must really love me--I mentioned that I'd love to figure out how to fence the north pasture for the goats. We've got lots of weeds there, and they are natural weed eliminators. So, he sat down, and tried to figure it out--just fencing a portion of it. We bought wire and T-posts. But when we got home, realized the logistics just weren't there right now. So, we improvised and put up a small fence in the south pasture since the electric fence that we used for over 2 years quit. Now, how many guys will do something on a whim like that? What should have been an hour project took over 3. And, I know he had other projects he wanted to do. I'd have waited, but he thought it was important.
-------
While my "men-folk" are off hunting this weekend, I'm going to pamper myself. Kat and I are going to see family in Colo Springs. And I'm planning on shopping (with little money)...and eating Chinese at the mall...and talking and spending lots of time with Kel. Kel is probably the closest thing I have to a sister. We haven't spent time doing things alone in several years. We're due.
And yet, I'm worried about being gone from home for 3 days. I worry about not seeing, and maybe not talking to Kev. I'm worried my animals will need me--especially the chicks and Miss Monkey. My neighbors can care for them, but will they be able to do it as well as I can? Will they give Miss Monkey some lovin after her bottle? Will they remember to change the chick's water twice a day? I'm sure they will, but I can't stop worrying...
It's a beautiful spring day, the crabapple trees are starting to bud, the blowering pear trees are budding. Lilacs are leafing out and will bloom in a few short weeks. No wind. It's just bright, sunny, and beautiful. It even smells like spring.
Our wedding day wasn't this nice. It was cool, cloudy, and windy. I so wanted a beautiful spring day for my wedding. But instead, I got a beautiful wedding on a spring day.
-------
Kev is just about packed for his Spring Turkey Hunt. He leaves tonight. He'll be gone until Sunday. He'll miss our anniversery. I'm ok with that. We don't wait to celebrate our marriage on just our anniversery. We both work at finding time to do things together. We've decided to try to go on a weekend get-away sometime "soon." I think we've narrowed it down to two spots. Just need to decide when. We haven't gone somewhere alone since...well, since our overnight stay at the hotel on our 5th anniversery. It's time.
-------
I decided over the weekend that Kev must really love me--I mentioned that I'd love to figure out how to fence the north pasture for the goats. We've got lots of weeds there, and they are natural weed eliminators. So, he sat down, and tried to figure it out--just fencing a portion of it. We bought wire and T-posts. But when we got home, realized the logistics just weren't there right now. So, we improvised and put up a small fence in the south pasture since the electric fence that we used for over 2 years quit. Now, how many guys will do something on a whim like that? What should have been an hour project took over 3. And, I know he had other projects he wanted to do. I'd have waited, but he thought it was important.
-------
While my "men-folk" are off hunting this weekend, I'm going to pamper myself. Kat and I are going to see family in Colo Springs. And I'm planning on shopping (with little money)...and eating Chinese at the mall...and talking and spending lots of time with Kel. Kel is probably the closest thing I have to a sister. We haven't spent time doing things alone in several years. We're due.
And yet, I'm worried about being gone from home for 3 days. I worry about not seeing, and maybe not talking to Kev. I'm worried my animals will need me--especially the chicks and Miss Monkey. My neighbors can care for them, but will they be able to do it as well as I can? Will they give Miss Monkey some lovin after her bottle? Will they remember to change the chick's water twice a day? I'm sure they will, but I can't stop worrying...
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