Snot

Announcements first--There won't be any blogs next week, (March 19-25) because I'll have the week off for Spring Break. And, since I'm too cheap to pay for Internet connectivity at home...I won't have access to update this blog. If someone would like to pay for our Internet connectivity, my children would forever be in your debt.

On to the main feature.

Today, I feel the need to talk about...snot.

Snot may not be a genteel topic of conversation, but it is something that all people can relate to, after all, we all produce mucus, boogers, or snot. There's a lot of snot at my house. It's always at my house, never going away, never staying in the background. It's never polite. I'm sure you are hoping that I have stock in Kleenex. I don't. I buy Kleenex, but appear to be the only one using the Kleenex.

Miss Kat, beautiful, petite, pixie faced, the blond perfection of a child is a snot factory. She'd be a billionaire if only there was a use for snot. That child doesn't bother with Kleenex's, instead, she snorts that stuff down her throat. And she just doesn't sound very ladylike when shes snortn' and snottin' all day long. The child's allergies are always evident. Because she's always got snot somewhere.

Now, on occasion, she'll have a Kleenx forced upon her by me, her also-allergy-prone-but-not-quite-as-much-snot-producing-mother. She'll blow into that Kleenx, clear out those nasal passages, toss the Kleenx, and 10 minutes later, she's snortin' and suckin' that snot down her throat, or, dare I say, she'll wipe her nose with her fist or her sleeve. Yeah, nasty. And who does her laundry? Um Hum. You know who, me.

Now this winter, we had a different experience with snot, we still had the runny noses and sniffles and snot sucking sounds, but we had a picking problem this winter. Now, not a pickin' and eatin' problem, but a pickin' at those dry crusty pieces of snot that cling to and plug up the nostril. Those dry crusties also don't seem to blow out, so the only way to get those annoying things out is to pick them out. Then where do they go? That is one of life's unsolved mysteries. I know where they don't go...and that'sthe mouth. (Cause "that's just gross Mom.")

Since Kat doesn't ever seem to have a Kleenx about, her loving wonderful father decided to teach her how to use the old Oklahoma Hankie.

For those of you who don't know what an "Oklahoma Hankie" is, it is not a Hankie. Instead, you go outside, in the grass. (Please, stay in the grass, don't do this on a sidewalk.) Press one finger on a nostril to hold it closed, and blow "vigorously" out the other side. If all works well, the snot will land on the ground. If it doesn't work well, well, then...you'll need a Kleenx to wipe off your face, or shirt if you're lucky. (More laundry for me, o yeah, and I usually get the face-wiping duty too.)

Kat decided she'd stick to her sleeve. (Me too.)

But, all this is changing at our house folks! Yes indeedy do!

Monday night, Kat had another allergy treatment for Milk and milk products. Now, milk is a known mucus producer, so we decided that this should be her first food allergy treatment. (All others to this point have been environmental allergens.)

Holy cow, for the first time in 10 years, I didn't have a snot-sucking, snot-snorting child. Nope, it's gone, dried up, eliminated. Now, instead of becoming the billionaire of snot, she'll just have to be a peon. Sure, we get some sniffles now, but that's all they are...sniffles. No more snorts, snot sucking, nose wiping people at my house! So far, so good. I've gotta say, I'm not going to miss that snot. Not one bit.

The snot factory is hereby closed. Hallelujah!