Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Nudity and the older woman

For some reason, this is in my mind, and I have to write it down. Don't ask me why, but it is now a compulsion.

A few months ago, I "babysat" my 83 year old grandmother. She's got mild dementia, she's always been a little selfish, and, she's to the point where she can't stay alone because, well, one, she panics whenever my Grandfather is gone very long, 2. because she refuses to take care of herself and 3. because she really is frail and someone should be close.

Anyway, she got up at one point to make a trip to the bathroom. I knew what she was going to be doing in there because she always shares the state of her bowels. Daily. Sometimes hourly. She came out of the bathroom fine, didn't fall or anything, which was a relief to me because there's a reason why I'm not a nurse.

She'd put on a Depends because, well, because evidently things were loose. The sad part was when she had to show me the Depends. Yep, she just flashed me, her own flesh and blood, she flashed me her Depends.

Now, I've seen my grandmother in various stages of undress over the years, but she never flashed me before. I know our bodies will change as we age. I already miss my firm stomach and thighs. They are long gone and left behind that memory. But I really wasn't ready to see what lay in store for me down the road. I have always taken comfort in the fact that I will be thin again...maybe when I'm 83, but at that point, I'll be thin again. But, I had in my delusional fantasy the idea that my thinness would be firm, taut, smooth skin. Not saggy, baggy, loose scar-ridden skin. And, this isn't the image I want in my head when I think of my Grandmother.

My family is pretty open about nudity (Well, my mother and I are, Daddy would die if he ever thought I saw him nude.) Anyway, Mom never spent a minute alone in the bathroom while we kids were home. So, I've seen my mother nude numerous times. As a self-absorbed teenager, I swore to myself that when I was "old" like my then-in-her-30's mother, I wouldn't be saggy, or lumpy or even the slightest bit jiggly. Nope, not me. My body was NOT going to look like my Mother's.

But it does. And I wonder, will it look like Grandma's, when I'm 83? And if so, will I abuse my not-yet-born granddaughter with a flash?

Somehow, over the years, I've been blessed to see other nude older women. Like when I was a Junior or Senior in High School. I sold Avon. I sold Avon to primarily 20 ladies in town, some of whom were widows. Lonely widows. Women on fixed income. One in particular was very lonely. I never knew what to expect when I went to visit this lady.

We'll call her Do-do (pronounce it doe-doe). Anyone from Englewood will remember her.

Do-do owned the liquor store in town for years. I don't know how many customers she had, but I'd guess most were truck drivers. She probably never had much money, and she was lonely. She was an lonely old lady who had stupid little hairy dogs. One dog's name was Misty and you had to coo over Misty and make a fuss over that stupid little hairy dog before you could do any business with Do-do. I really didn't mind visiting Do-do, I knew she was lonely, I understood that that damn dog was her entire family. And, Do-do was one of my best customers.

So, every two weeks, I'd take some time on a Saturday morning to go deliver her order and take the next order. I always planned on being at Do-do's for at least an hour. I'd have to fawn over that damn hairy little 2 lb dog, then we'd visit, then she'd go through the catalog, write me a check, and I'd be free to go. One morning, a beautiful spring morning, I arrived around 9 a.m. with Do-do's Avon. I rang the bell and waited until she answered the door.

She did--wearing nothing but a tee-shirt. Not a long tee-shirt, but a rather short tee-shirt. Her nether regions were hanging out there for me to "enjoy." Grey haired nether regions. Nether regions partially covered by her belly, but not covered enough. Do-do also had a naval hernia which was very evident through the thin white tee-shirt that didn't cover up her nether regions, it looked like a blue egg resting on her stomach. Do-do had also had a mastectomy and didn't have a falsie. And, she was rather large busted. Bosoms on older ladies don't stand at attention either. That solitary puppy was closely examining that eggy hernia as it looked down toward the nether regions.

So, there I was, an innocent 17 year old getting flashed by a 75-80 year old woman wearing only a tee-shirt sharing not only her nether region, but her herniated belly button and 1/2 of a large bust resting on a large belly. I didn't know what to do. But I know what I did,

I left and returned later in the day.

I don't know why this all came to me today, but it did. I had to get this out. But I promise, this is as "out" as I'll ever get. I promise.

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