Monday, December 14, 2009

Huntin' with Shell...Episode 7

By now, I know you all realize how great of a hunter I am. Why, the Outdoor Network is on the phone with me daily, wanting me to sign a contract and film all my wondrously exciting hunts. I rank right up there with their female hunters--I'm young, sexy, cute, and a good hunter too. Right? Right? (ok, stop laughing! I was ONCE young, and sexy, and maybe even cute!)

Unfortunately, If they ever contacted me about a show, it would be titled "How not to kill a deer." Cause that apparently, is all I'm good at!

But, in my defense, don't the deer have to come close enough to shoot at? Don't the deer have to cooperate? Man, maybe these stupid deer are related to my kids, cause my kids don't cooperate with me either.

I'm doomed.

I've got three more weekends to get a deer. And, since I have two weeks off from work over the holidays, I guess I could go out every day if I wanted to...cept I'd have to go alone and I really don't like to go alone cause it's more fun to share the excitement. Whoo hoo! It's so exciting to sit in the pasture day after day, hour after hour and see...

nuthin. Why, people are lined up wanting to do that!

This weekend was a perfect example.

I was by my sagebrush before 7. Since it was cold (finally) I was wearing 40 extra lbs. of clothing for warmth. (And I could feel it too! I haven't waddled this bad since I was 10 months pregnant with Miss Kat!)

At 7:30, I scoped the area, looking for those pesky deer. And, Lo, there were 2 does. Over at the tree row. The tree row in which I sat last year. The tree row where no one came to visit me last year. Oh, sure...that tree row wasn't good enough last year, but this year, they like it.

I think it's personal. I think that I must have one of those flashing neon signs above my head with an arrow pointing down to me. You know, those signs that magically appear in cartoons? Yep. One of those points at me and flashes "Here's that female hunter. Go somewhere else." The deer see the sign, read it, and go somewhere else. And these two does? They saw the sign, and never came close to me. In fact, after seeing the sign, they turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

And, that's all I saw.

It's getting rather discouraging.

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