Friday, September 25, 2009 13 year old girl...REALLY

FREE to a good 13 year old girl. Cute, blond, big eyes. Housebroken. Doesn't eat much. Requires only a computer and constant care and attention. Has short term memory issues. Doesn't cook, clean, or do any chores willingly. Can throw frequent...I mean occasional temper tantrums. Within 60 seconds, can also be quite the charmer. Would be a good addition to any home.

It's a long story.

Short version:

Kev and I will be home late tonight, we have a "date" with another couple. Andy will be out of town for the weekend. Miss Kat has plans to spend the night with a friend. Tomorrow, Kev and I plan on getting up early and going hunting followed by chopping wood. We don't intend to be home till sometime in the afternoon. Miss Kat is supposed to work a concession stand at the Youth Football game at 2, but, she can stay at her friends till then.

Sounds really good, doesn't it.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

This morning, on the way to work, I received 2 phone calls...

"Mom, I need money for the game tonight."

My thoughts as I heard this statement: What the heck! Haven't we had these conversations before? Crap kid, I'm 1/2 way to Dodge! 15 miles away. How on earth am I supposed to give you money? Can't you ask the night before? Don't you know how to plan ahead? Fer-cryin'-out loud. Who is your mother and why didn't she teach you how to plan ahead? SHE does...why don't you. Sheesh a Pete KID.

What I actually said was: "Well, just how am I going to get you any money? Is there any in the egg money jar? O, wait. Dad says he has a 5 in his dresser drawer. Get it."

Ten miles further down the road, my phone rings again...

"Mom, I just remembered. I have to bring cookies to sell at the concession stand tomorrow."

My thoughts as I heard THIS statement:

sorry, I can't print those thoughts...

Actually, I thought. FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD. Can't anyone do anything without me doing it for them? Do I have to solve every one's problems? Can't I have a life? Can NO ONE tell me anything BEFORE it's to late to do anything? What in the world am I supposed to do about stupid cookies? I suppose I can bake stupid cookies tonight. And, if I could, how would I get them to you--I'm leaving the house at SIX IN THE MORNING. GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

What I actually said was: "FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD. What am I supposed to do? I'm leaving the house at 6 in the morning! There's a pan of Lemon bars on the counter. Take them to school with you today so you'll have them tomorrow."

What she said: "MOM...Those are yucky. I can't take those with me when I'm going to be running around at the game tonight! Can't you just BUY some?"

At this point, I just started banging my head against the steering wheel.

If you are interested in the free girl child that I'm giving away, please call...SOON. Otherwise, I can't be held responsible for her health, welfare and future.

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